i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
