in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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