we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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