Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize