when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
