When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
