Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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