so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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