their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
