so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
