You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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