yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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