Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
