He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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