hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
