Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
