can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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