Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
