Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
