It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
