I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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