you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
