i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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