wake up i wanna do it froggy style
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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