hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
