Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize