i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize