I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
