Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its not stalking. its research.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
