This girl is more easily done than said...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
