it was like his penis was on wheels.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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