this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
