he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
