i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wear drunk well.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize