Me too!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
