I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Text me some of your sweat
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