I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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