just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
