the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
