You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
