that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
