HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize