She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
