I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
