Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize