I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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