thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
