How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
