i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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