Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
