Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize