I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
