I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Your penis caused this!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
