New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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