I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize