He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize