I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
