you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize