Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
