I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
