With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize