The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
