Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
